Kenneth Robert McMordie, the man who impersonated the author of Jed McKenna books, passed away on Wednesday the 6th of July 2021 in a Phnom Penh hospital.

He travelled there from the town of Kampot after some illness and after apparently having taken the chloroquine for what he thought was Covid.

It wasn’t, it was thought at first. The death was reported as resulting from cardiovascular disease.

Some expats in Cambodia were apparently aware that Ken bilked people for money. However, I don’t know what other means of parting folks with their cash Kenneth deployed in Cam, so cannot comment on that.

I tried to post on his forum (which I have not visited for over a year). All comments and posts require a moderator’s approval, which means ‘never’, as there is no one to approve them now. The forum participants may never learn about his demise.

I have quite mixed feelings about the news, because I told Kenneth once how I am going to learn about his death, and it proved true to the letter 😦



I don’t know if I will revive the site; I’ve come to greatly dislike the WordPress (un)usability, and other concerns have taken priority in the past few months. But I would like to at least confirm the name of Jed McKenna. Here, nothing new, truly an open secret:

Peder Sweeney, currently known as Peter Johnson, is jed mckenna.

I have traced his life and the life of his family as far back as the birth of his parents, both New Yorkers, like he was for the first few years of his life. The details.. well, IF I revive the site.

Peter Sweeney (Johnson) is Jed McKenna

80 thoughts on “DEATH

  1. Hello again. 🙂 I’m happy to see you are back online. You know where to find me should you care to reply and sort of catch up on things. Peace and good, Joe.

    1. I placed this same information in reddit, but it was not published. It seems that much has changed since the last time I communicated online. No one allows any side comments without heavy moderation. A shite situation, if one asks me.

      1. Yes, the original site on Reddit also tells me my posts have been deleted by a moderator. There is the site I began that you should be able to post to I’ll put the URL in a way the AI filter here may allow, should you care to post there: www dot reddit dot com/r/JedMcKennaTwo/

          1. Today, straight after I had learnt about Ken’s death (not from reddit). It came as a shock, to be honest, a part of me is sort of gone. A part always goes once the person I knew and gave some of my time and energy to – is no more.
            I do regret him leaving at 74. He could have stayed longer, but fuck me!!!who chooses to treat self from an undiagnosed condition with an unconfirmed drug?? That’s Cambodia in a nutshell.

          2. I saw a post there. I replied briefly that I saw it. AND there was this red lined box around it and I saw no “approval” button to click. Anyway, since then I figured out how to approve you as a user, and clicked to send you an invite as a moderator of everything. Hope both of those work.

          3. Joe, give me some time please. I don’ have the mental capacity right now to figure out the details of how it all works.. As far as I could see a few hours back – the post still does not show.

        1. I see the problem with reddit, it’s my lack of doing anything for a couple years. I need to figure things out. —>

          I would like to join r/JedMcKennaTwo
          0 replies•7 months ago
          I would like to become an approved user of this community so I can post

          To approve this user, visit the approved users page for r/JedMcKennaTwo and click “ADD USER”. Approving this user gives them permission to post. You can change these community restrictions from the community settings page.

          To get more information about this user, visit the profile page of u/nowisdomnoattainment or reply to this message to start a conversation.


          New posts in your subreddit have been restricted
          0 replies•a year ago
          We want to let you know that your community has been restricted due to lack of active moderation. As outlined in Reddit’s Moderator Guidelines for Healthy Communities, we require subreddits to have an active and stable moderator team. You are receiving this message because your community has not had active moderation for more than 90 days.

          Don’t worry! Communities that are restricted are still open and available to view. However, new posts can only be made by moderators or approved submitters designated by moderators.

          The goal of this restriction is to limit problematic content from taking over communities while moderators are away without overly disrupting the community itself. We hope this will provide a little wakeup call to remind you of your responsibilities as a mod, and that your community depends on you.

          You can quickly and easily undo the restricted setting themselves in the Mod Tools panel (subreddit settings > type > restricted). This will restore the subreddit to full functionality.

          However, to help ensure your subreddit is not restricted again, we recommend you take the time to build a stable moderation team that can remain active if individual mods drop off. We also recommend you take a look at our other Guidelines for Healthy Communities.

      1. The user named u/EnlightenmentMyth is listed now as a moderator of JM3 reddit page. However when I click on that as a link, reddit says,

        “Sorry, nobody on Reddit goes by that name.
        The person may have been banned or the username is incorrect.”

        So, more WTF here. Are you able to log into reddit as the user enlightenmentmyth ?

        1. Yes, I can log on. However, it seems to me that Kenneth went around some social media and forum controlling software and placed the words “Tano’ and Enlightenment myth’ as spammers, so that I could not post anything. It was clever of him. I know for sure he did apply for at least one such ban.

          He understood the power of the brand 🙂

          P.S. I cannot log on under this name in Plato either. See.. he respected my convictions enough to protect his activities from those. Funny, a grown-up man, and such.. immaturity. Still love him.

          1. ? I searched and saw a u/tano on reddit. who joined in 2008, and no posts are shown. ? I could add u/tano as a moderator, if that is also you as a member from 2008. Perhaps you might email me if there’s something more to say, as I’m having a problem finding YOUR email or other contact place, aside from here.

          2. It was not me. I never heard of reddit until this Ken saga. Also, I just posted a message on that thread – no joy. I can only see it when logged on. I cannot see it as a guest. Something in the settings of this sub prevents it from displaying. New user perhaps?

          3. Joe, I just wrote aand posted a big reply on the sub, and IT DOES NOT GO THROUGH. I cannot understand what is going on over there. I think your sub was compromised somehow.

          4. I’ve just gone and looked at the reddit JM2, nothing was there until I clicked an a link to “Spam” and three messages were there from you. the was a button/link labeled “Reason Deleted” and when i clicked on it nothing happened. When I clicked on the time ago link, it brought me to a page with an approval option link. Now I think they will be visible. It’s frustrating. Your comments/posts are put in an obscure place and no notice is given me. I have to make a search everytime to find them.

  2. Ah, yes, it did seem he made a legal name change to disappear online as much as possible. A generic name like Peter Johnson was the reasonable choice. I just googled that name and of course it’s useless with nothing more to go on, although he was in California, the Bay Area if I recall correctly from our earlier searching. But I was not, and still am not… how should I say…. “Relentless” ? Is that a good word for it? How did you do it – find the correct Peter in the haystack of “Johnsons”?

      1. Ah, good going. I took my clues from you before on where to search online, but “California was a decoy” isn’t very specific ! Right now, these days, I’ll probably not spend my time continuing the hunt. If you want me to know, you’ll let me know in your own way.

  3. OHHH>>>>…. Is the name Peter Johnson also just some word play? For readers here that are unfamiliar with what is at least American slang. Both “a peter”, and “a johnson” are also slang terms for the male penis. SO, I wonder about that name choice that you used above in your OP here!

    1. Hi Joe, good to hear from you.

      ” Is the name Peter Johnson also just some word play?” Nah, it is his second wife’s maiden name.

      Also, of course, Peder Sweeney name is one and only in existence, but there are thousands of Peter Johnsons. Kinda made perfect sense if one wants to hide.

  4. Yes, I agree that it “made perfect sense if one wants to hide”. Good to hear from you again also. SE Asia in general, and Cambodia also of course, has lost many jobs. So I know times and must have been difficult for you this past year and more. The present Covid effect on the world of international travel, has put my plans for my wife and I, in a sort of Visa limbo. Anyway, a welcome back to you and your new post here.

  5. OH my! I must have the Reddit site set up wrong. I don’t understand all the settings there. I never saw any post/comment/info from you there for a couple years now. Would you like to PM me about it? This place is too public to say more, imo, unless that’s how you want to do it… and IF you want to.

      1. AH OK Success now. I wrote your name without the u/ in front. You are now invited to be a moderator –> Invited moderators
        User avatar
        just now

        1. Thank you for the trust, although it was not my intent. I just wanted to let people know who ‘Jed’ really is. But perhaps we can combine our weird approaches to things. I trust you of many people. You are the only person who knows me in physical life, yet never betrayed that.

          Thank you for this from the bottom of my heart muscle 🙂

          1. And thank you back for that kindness. I am grateful for your replies. IMO, your heart is MUCH larger and more than a “heart muscle”. Combining approaches sounds good and brings a smile to my face.

  6. I have mentioned you to the editor of another website that I have been emailing, essentially referring you to him. He, or an author he published a page for, may be contacting you. I don’t want to put details here in public, unless you ask me to.

      1. It says it indirectly, you have to read between the lines. Usual for him, not telling things straight.

        This is the truth revealing quotation from the post:

        “It used to be that if you met the Buddha on the road, you were supposed to kill him. Now the Buddha comes pre-killed.”

          1. EM; I realize now is not yet the time to reply to the person who contacted you recently – yet his backstory may well be what the gentleman who contacted you about. – i.e., the person whom I had referred to you, may be interested in having you write for his webpage. Perhaps not for him; and when, IF, you choose to do so on your own terms.

          2. Yes I have, I know that he was a scammer in his past. But I have no idea how his history is related to this issue?

          3. If you read his backstory that he gave to his students straight after this little scandal, you will notice that the scenario of his ‘death’ message is exaclty the same sans his South American venture and without his claims to the Canadian CIA operative. It has nothing to do with telling you he is not the author. Kenneth did not place a disclaimer; he placed a trap once again. Forum people will swallow it whole.

            People never change. They may wear a different psychological/professional costume for a while, but we are who we are at birth – throughout our entire lives.

            So I am afraid there was no special message in it, other than: carry on, folks, with what you are doing. We are all well and happy here. Kenneth was the master of saying a lot AROUND the subject, and but nothing CONCRETE. It’s like me visiting Haiti and pretending to haitians that I can speak zulu. They will only be in awe, how the hell do they know what zulu sounds like? I can make any number of fake words, and they will be none the wiser.

            Just like our forum prisoners.. who incidentally think they are free.

          4. Somehow I can’t respond to the right place of this threath, sorry about that. And sorry about my English, I’n not a native English speaker as you can see.

            Wow… Your answer. I don’t know where to begin. I’m not going to comment about it at all.

            Did it ever come to your mind that it wasn’t a compliment when he called you an enigma? That it was meant to be a wake up call for you to really start digging yourself? My guess is that he rejected you because he didn’t want to waste his time with you since he noted you are not a sincere seeker and that you had your own agenda. I think he was quite strict with his use of time (except girl bars) and wanted not to use it in something he thought was irrelevant from his point of view.

            I’m constantly amazed about one thing in human interaction: how hard it is for the most of the people to take the position of another person and view the world from their perspective. And to do it in a way that’s not distorted.

            I have to say thank you for your job you done here in this case. You made me a huge service, I got all the information I needed to make my own calculations. Because of you I got to see his face. In one of your pictures about him his face tells me all I need to know. That combined with the breathing tape I got from him verified me that he actually was truth realized. Because of that I’m convinced he actually was the original role model for the Jed McKenna character of the books as he claimed to be.

            My background with Kenneth: I actually never was his student personally. I once contacted him after doing my job and that was enough. He knocked me down with such an ease, punched me right in the middle of my face. Dripped me down so to speak. He really knew the rules in this game, in all it’s harsness. I got a lesson from him I will never forget about the dynamics of human relationships. He really managed to mirror myself back from him, all my crappiness I had not yet shed from me. He did something to me that no one else would have been capable to do and that’s why I know he actually was who he claimed to be.

            Maybe you think all this I’m telling you is somehow contradictory. It may paradoxically seem so.

            Thank you, really. We all have our roles to act in this play. God really is an asshole, that’s for sure.

  7. 🙂 I don’t know what else to say (wondering if I’m just having the proverbial last word in our chat)…… Anyway, I wish you the best EM. You’re uniquely wonderful and so much more. Please take care of yourself. Peace and good, Joe

    1. Thank you. Just to let you know.. my post on JM2 never showed up. It was placed in this thread of yours:

      I can see it unposted when I log in, and absent when I am brwsing as a guest (without logging in).

      As for the first reddit.. I presume they want their own little circle, and it is not all inclusive anymore. Why, where’s the fair and just Mahhktu when you need him..

  8. @originalpowehi

    You are right, I need to look at this comment facility, it doesn’t seem to be too good.

    “Your answer. I don’t know where to begin. I’m not going to comment about it at all”

    Why not? Perhaps, I should publish the whole piece sIo that you could compare for yourself the two and how they morphed.

    “that it wasn’t a compliment when he called you an enigma” – First, how would you know about this one? Second, I always understood Ken. He was not an enigma, he was someone who was hiding something.


    Well, I understand that this is the narrative Kenneth himself promoted; he said some pretty nasty things ‘officially’. It was necessary for you folks. No one rejected anyone. I cared about him. He was vulnerable internally, he undersood that I undersood that, I asked him dangerous questions he did not like and which no one asked him because they wanted to remain in his favour. I did not care about favour. I cared about whether he was true. He was not.

    “he didn’t want to waste his time with you since he noted you are not a sincere seeker and that you had your own agenda.”

    I was not a seeker. Just like real Jed (Peter).. I searched on my own and found before Kenneth appeared on the horizon. There was no need to seek then, there is no need to seek eight years later. It was done, finished. Can you understand that it is final? The core understanding and vision – is final. It does not require Jed or Ken or anyone else. It requires you to be honest with yourself.

    “something he thought was irrelevant from his point of view.”

    Yes, I was irrelevant, absolutely. He knew perfectly well that I will not pay. He told me himself I didn’t need to participate, something I knew without him telling me. He was an equal at times, and at times a little kid scared of the big mama. You have no idea what you are talking about, because 1. You are lost 2. You are young 3. You are immature 4. You were not there when things happened.

    “I’m convinced he actually was the original role model for the Jed McKenna character of the books as he claimed to be.”

    Waay ahead of you. Didn’t I just state that folks on the forum will NEVER see it?There are people who have been there for YEARS, and still none the wiser as to what is being done to them. You fell into perfect dependence on ‘seeking’ and Kenneth; it is designed that way. Arguing with you is like arguing with Mormons or Krishnaists. I am not willing to change your mind, because unlike Kenneth – no one is paying me here. So.. go away and learn from someone who will charge you for the privillege.

    “He did something to me that no one else would have been capable to do and that’s why I know he actually was who he claimed to be.”

    yeah.. he made you into a dependant clone. A pity, but really.. like himself you will die one day, so who cares. Nurse your illusions, it makes no difference to anyone, least of all myself. They are real to you.


    1. I have been reading this blog quite many times, so your answer was quite expectable. I’m not surprised. But it was not a reason not to do this what I did. I did it because it seemed like a good idea to do so. (And to be honest: now analyzing it afterwards, it was a good idea because now I got a change to dig myself more. What a nasty ego I have really, better to eradicate it for good like a weed from my garden.)

      The reason I didn’t answer to your comment is: It was full of ego’s tendency to rationalize things. And so was your previous answer, I’m not going to comment much about those claims either.

      Awakening is not about rationalizing things, it’s about moving beyond rationalization. Have you ever really contemplated that? I try my best not to play too deeply this Mayanic game of hers what it comes to external things that don’t matter too much. One can really get lost into that.

      You told me you were not a seeker and that you had already seeked and found, hit the core understanding and vision. Have you ever considered that it’s not a final destination? Are you sure you know how deep the rabbit hole is? I have been digging like eight years now, and because of divine grace I really hit the bottom of everything so to speak. I know where this all seeking leads. Now I have been pulled back forcefully and knowing I’m not done yet. That’s the difference between us: you seem to be so convinced you have solved the riddle and I know I haven’t.

      I know about that enigma thing because you have told it here in this blog. I had no personal connection with Kenneth except couple emails I changed with him. (Like I told you earlier, they were enough for me, he really proved me I wasn’t done yet.)

      It seems we cannot have a conversation about anything serious because we are viewing almost everything too differently. It would require something we both seem to lack: an ability to meet other person halfway. (We all have our weaknesses, at least now I know one of mines.)

      About weaknesses: Kenneth seemed to really have ones in his ego-character. That I have found out by reading your blog and because of our brief email change. No one’s perfect but it doesn’t decrease the value of his work. Hi’s immature looking ego (if analyzed by more mature looking ego) was all he had, he also had to play this game by the rules. We all have. Like I already mentioned: God really is an asshole.

      I have to thank you from all of this: your blog and our conversation. Very informative and revealing.

      1. “It was full of ego’s tendency to rationalize things.”

        Have you even read Peter’s (Jed McKenna) books? He is as rational as they come. Enlightenment takes your mind out of the animal primitive state where people are only driven by immediate impulses and emotions, and into the land of the real, aka where you see things as they are. I am afraid you are talking (with assumed authority) about something you don’t at all understand.

        “Are you sure you know how deep the rabbit hole is?”

        I am. I’ve been to every rabbit hole in existence.

        “t doesn’t decrease the value of his work”

        In the eyes of the beholder. Kenneth successfully managed to REPLACE the real author with himself. That is an unimaginable achievment. Trust me, he had NOTHING to do with the book writing. He was not in the US at the time when Peter considered the books, they never met. I know because I spoke to those who were with him at the time, and his reaction when he read the first Jed McKenna book. He was totally taken by it, just like you lot. And that, my friend, is the fact.

        I don’t blame the people on the forum for adulation. They 1. have no access to all the facts, the REAL events that took place 2. Even if they did.. they are too immersed in Ken to ever consider anything else now.
        Ken’s business is now a cult, with the heir apparent in the house, and it will continue the lie. Peter has no power to stop it. Serves him right too. He should have been more forceful, instead of that silly unconvincing disclaimer. I guess he thought he would benefit from Ken, since it creates publicity. But hey! the people paid their cash to Ken, not to Peter. How much is a single book? Pennies. How much did Ken charge? Thousands. Do the maths.

        I think you need to go back to the fold, stay with this new leader Zara. It suits you better, confirms your worldview, so what else do you want?

        “I have to thank you from all of this: your blog and our conversation. Very informative and revealing.”

        Thank you. But it did nothing for you to at least consider that you were deceived, so what good is this place for anything?

        Be well.

        1. It got me to open my eyes and to see the scam and see what an gullible ass I had been. Probably still am in many ways but there is also lesson learned. Not easy to confront the truth why I had been seeking and then attaching to persons, ideas, teachings etc out there. Growing up is HARD. But nowadays there is no other way. It’s hellishly lonesome somedays. But thanks to you from the bottom of my heart.

          1. @ mh1711

            ‘Hellishly lonesome’ is correct. I remember that myself; it felt as if I was the only person in the world.

            This feeling will go once you are getting closer to your destination.

            Thank you.

        2. You seem to lack the ability to read me correctly, all you have been doing here in our conversation is wrong assumptions and accusations etc what comes to me. And I seem to lack the ability to be interested about the egoistic games you try to pull me in. (Of course I play too, that’s what my ego is programmed to do: to be a kaliph instead of kaliph. Part of the game. That was the reason why I didn’t get along with Kenneth very well. He was a solo artist, just like me.)

          There’s no point to continue this “conversation” which leads nowhere because we have too different perspectives about almost everything. There’s no way we can meet halfway obviously, my guess is that we have totally opposite world views so we have nothing to say each other because the gap is just too wide between us. I vanish into the background again, not commenting but only enjoying the show as a bystander.

          You be well.

      2. “Kenneth seemed to really have ones in his ego-character.”

        Ken was a man, not god. Ordinary, taken by the flesh (he liked girls a lot), not very courageous when he had to face things head on, very secretive even with the closest to him people. He was a quiet man in his every day life, hated sport, gambling, fights. He was not a guru, but someone who lived through life and understood many of its lessons. He was highly aware, but not enlightened.

        He had lots of character flaws, but show me a human who doesn’t? Nevertheless, he was a conman. It ruined his life back in Canada, and I am pretty sure he had some regrets on that.

  9. I’m not sure why you unequivacably call the forum members “prisoners.” You leave no room for nuance. I found Ken’s forum 1 and forum 2 to be entertaining and sometimes thought-provoking. Ken was nice to me (gave me some attention) and I never gave him any money, nor did he try to procure any money from me. I had not posted since January of this year and then once since his death.

    I kind of realized early on that no author is going to spend copious amounts of time on a forum for free. The 2nd forum I could easily see as a means to a monetary end. But didn’t even the book author Jed say he was finished after the first trilogy? Then came more, and more, and more! I really did enjoy the free plays, especially The Starship Gita!

    The characters on both forums were sometimes quite engaging to read. Ken let Fritz’s comment stand on that other guy’s thread, that real immature bozo who claimed he was enlightened.

    Sandra Anne’s stories (minus her pontificating) were fascinating, to me. Great reading on an atypical life lived, at least for an American.

    I have no “truth-realization.” I have been “a seeker” for all of my life, but while on a walk recently I realized I was “done” with seeking any kind of definitive answers. What is, just is; there’s nothing to find. If someday I am graced with “something more” than this realization, well then it will happen.

    I’m not talented at “non-dual” awareness either, especially the “abiding” type, yet I see glimpses sometimes of something that seems like everything is one in some sense.

    I, obviously, have read your forum, including these new pistings. I do grok your missing Kenneth. I’m missing some folks myself, including him. I just don’t think all the forum members are the captured by lies beings you think we are.

    These situations usually boil down to the three blind men and them describing the elephant they are touching in three different places story.

    1. @ queenofkudzu

      I am surprised you found this place here.
      “I’m not sure why you unequivacably call the forum members “prisoners.’

      I will tell you why. You were a member of both forums, which means you were a member of the 2nd forum from the start more or less, correct? If so, you remember that it was a very free place to start with.

      1. You could PM other members
      2. You could see the full lists of other members, together with the email addresses
      3. You could see who logged on and how many people
      4. you could see the times
      5. You could see the profiles of members
      6. You did not need any comments to be approved
      7. You did not need any threads you wanted to start, to be approved.
      8. You could do a search of a certain topic

      This last one (search) disappeared because of me, believe it or not, and way before I even started this site or knew anything about Ken and his life, or even what he looked like. He deleted the facility after I told him that I was looking for some information and found it via the search. A few hours later it was gone. When I asked him about it, he denied it was the reason, but would not give any explanation as to why he deleted it. I thought it was strange.

      So as you can see.. I had reasons, many many reasons to begin to suspect not all was as it seemed.
      Now.. look at the above. Imagine that you came to the forum in full belief that it was the real deal. You will stay. Because you will never learn that it was not, unless you go seaching for it. In the past, if you remember there were threads on the forum about the fraud. You remember that, don’t you? Many theads, while Kenneth was deciding how to deal with the sudden breach. He slowly removed any traces of the scandal, than closed off all possible avenues for communication between members.

      I know because despite banning me (and many others) from the forum, I got registered under a different name/IP and could see that nothing is working anymore.

      He made sure that all my aliaces were banned from the software point, because he went to special forum monitoring places and reported all my names he knew I used – reported as a spammer’s names. That was funny, because I actually was not the one who posted there, and I in fact stopped the person from continuing to post thread after thread. Why? I thought it was abusive, this kind of attack.

      Does anyone know just how much I tried not to let him get abused as a result, both online and in Cambodia? Nope. No one knows.

      I never stalked him. He stalked me once first, and I have a record, written in his own email. So there. Do I shout about it? No. Thieves shout ‘Thief”.

      “I have been “a seeker” for all of my life”

      That should tell you that what you are doing is simply not working, and will not work. It does not take a lifetime to open and to begin to see how things really are.

      “I realized I was “done” with seeking any kind of definitive answers.”

      The answers exist. You are not asking the right questions, hence, no answer will come to you. But feeling ‘done’ in that way is still a good point to be at.

      “I’m not talented at “non-dual” awareness either, especially the “abiding” type”

      No one is talented in this. It is a hype with no substance. That is why people keep chasing it and not finding anything. There is no such thing. Guys like Osho came, packaged the ancient texts into an accessible format for Westerners, but there is no such thing even in those texts. Anything written roughly after BC time is bullshit. Charlatans.

      “I do grok your missing Kenneth”

      It is more than missing. I do not miss him. I have not spoken to him since 2017. I am devastated that he is dead. I am angry at him for being careless about medication; each drug has an enormous effect on the body, even as simple as paracetamol. Not to know that at the age 74 is unforgivable. I am angry at him for his cavalier attitude towards others and what he has passed on, the lie he has created even after his death. But I cared for him, in a very real way. Not in a romantic way. I understood who he was inside.

      He was never the model for the books. I do not say I do not believe it, I am saying I know (as a fact) that he was not. The information was entrusted to me, and unfortunately I would have to pursuade the people to let me speak, and that is never going to happen.
      So far everything I delivered here turned out to be true. It is up to people to look at the facts, to compare the dealings and the deeds.

      And may be I should start charging. it seems to me that if people do not pay – they do not appreciate anything.

      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that you are from the other side, so to speak. I do not think there are many level headed people there.
      We have the IG forum where people believe anything blindly.
      We have the reddit sub where people do not believe Ken, but are absolutely in awe of Peter, and it is just as much of a cult, but without a leader.
      And we have the EM where none of it is true.

    2. I am very tired. I do not miss Ken. It was not neccessary for me to communicate with him. It was neccessary to know he was OK, alive and not starving. And maybe, being dead is OK for the one who is dead. But not for those left behind.
      I feel empty.

  10. You obviously care about many things, including Ken, and I believe caring to be a virtue. I have a friend somewhat like Ken; once we did not speak for over a year; now, this time it’s been months and I don’t expect the situation to change. I know him too well and could not choose his side in divorce proceedings. He’s a genius in many ways; he taught me A LOT, but he is also a liar in many ways, ways that are hurtful to himself and to others. Next thing I expect to find out is that he is dead… yeah, a shame, but not unforgivable.

    Yes, I realized that my “seeking” was not working, hence my relinquishment of such seeking. I have received clues, I guess you’d call them, about “reality,” for lack of a better word. I am not a complete stranger to mystery, and I have given up “the quest,”over time, in stages.

    I just kind of figured the “non-dual awareness” thingy might be a very right-sided brain type function. Have you ever heard of the book, My Stroke of Insight? The stroke flooding the author’s left side of her brain with blood caused her to have the “oceanic” experience of oneness with everything. It took her 7 years to recover her previous level of functioning; she was a brain scientist!

    Adyashanti described a similar childhood experience of oneness.

    I don’t dispute the veracity of the things on your EM site. But, the IG forum has a search function. I have always known it to be there and have used it, but it might have disappeared for a time without me noticing. I was just sort of there “for the ride,” so to speak.

    I did notice the fraud warnings, and, being a seeker, found your site.😊 I am glad to have found it, and you. I appreciate these current updates, especially.

    As for not asking the right questions, pray tell me, what are these questions? Are they particular to each person, universal, or…? I like what the old woman says in the musical ”A Little Night Mysic”— she says first, as I recall, “I have no answers,” then a time later, “I have no questions.” Or it could have been in reverse order.

    At some point in the musical, Elizabeth Taylor (in the version I watched) sang “Send in the Clowns.” That was my first thought upon hearing of Ken’s death—it’s time to send in the clowns. Yep, they are already here, as you so aptly pointed out.

    1. @ queenofkudzu

      I never had friends whom I knowingly realised were liars. Usually it was discovered ‘after the fact’, which tells me that I was trusting people without checking their human/professional credentials. just like we all trusted Kenneth to be who he said he was.

      Ah yes.. Oneness. The transitory state of bliss that many believe to be what it is all about.. which is not. Funny that you mention the stroke, because I wrote about mental disorders in my reply to someone here, and want to do a separate article on it. Once I went the full circle from psychology to the Big Bang back to the real world, I ended up with looking at psychiatry with a different set of eyes, especially considering that I had people in my life who suffered from enlightenment as a form of diagnosed mental disorder. It is a very important subject in relation to all that is being discussed here.

      The IG forum search facility was removed then, at the time I brought this up with Kenneth. He might have restored it since, I never actually checked for it again or used it because by then I was not a forum member and had no interest. But the fact that you could not have any communication with anyone on the forum unless Ken approved of it – remains. Perhaps, the new girl will change that, or perhaps she’d want it the same. The old members are aware, but still worship. The new ones who joined later are robbed of the opportunity to know the truth and to decide for themselves, because all traces of truth were erased, and no information is allowed to come through.

      I think she will not allow it. Before the last two article appeared, I went there, registered and wrote a small announcement on his death. It never appeared. Obviously, she wants total control of the place for herself. That, my friend, is prison.

      On right and wrong questions.. am doing a write up now. So.. thank you for your thoughtful post; it offers points for further thinking and consideration to all of us.. and a chance for me to write.

      1. I also found Jill Bolte Taylors book about stroke interesting. And Oliver Sacks (a neurologist who wrote about the brains quirks). From my personal experience when talking with doctors/psychiatrists, they could only offer me some mental disorder diagnosis, like depression, anxiety, dissociation or something like that when my mind’s “ordinary” world started to crumble and I begun to see differently. Sorry for my english, I don’t know or can’t find the words here. Interesting to read what you will write about the subject.

        About oneness, for me it is that I just know that I cannot be really separate from “this”, the world, universe or whatever this is. Not in any mystical sense but very concrete. And like with other people, on the very basic level we cannot be different. We are these biological, conscious creatures and that is the same and not personal and then comes our personal blueprint mixed to that. It sounds a bit simple or odd when written but I cannot explain it.

        1. @ mh1711

          “I cannot be really separate from “this”, the world, universe or whatever this is. Not in any mystical sense but very concrete.”

          OK, that could be your Oneness. The problem is people use the expression without any context, and it can mean a million things. Without context it is meaningless. But you here gave it context, so no disagreements there.

          “I cannot explain it.”

          No need to. You got it.

  11. Ok, now I am more clear. Also I have discovered why an observant friend pointed out that I was “selfish” in a particular (spiritual) matter. Just like on the two forums, as I said, I said was “just along for the ride.” Just amusing myself, taking all with a grain of salt, but also open to maybe learning something, as I am doing here, now. I was minding my own business, and perhaps that can be perceived as selfish of me. Like you said, just leave people alone to live their lives, yet, on the other hand…

    Much to ponder. Like when does it become MY business to disillusion others about anything?

    When I said in my first post that I was “done seeking answers,” I meant, truly, I was done seeking a TOE or the answer to everything, so to speak. I am a fairly self-aware person and I have put in the work. Lots & lots of self-examination and discovery, which I continue still, although I’ve reached a resting point of sorts, or feel more self-acceptance and self-understanding and other-acceptance and other-understanding. Less defensiveness too, although I have my surprising (to me) lapses from time-to-time. More to be curious about!

    What I also meant was that I have gained more appreciation of the “here & now” like, for instance, just simple delight on my walks of late with what I see in front of my eyes. Bliss sometimes comes unbidden, not sought for, just by casually, yet curiously, looking up, finding myself to be astonished by the sky. Things like that.

    Pain, too, comes unbidden, as when I was peeing with it and blood just yesterday. Instead of panicking as I have been wired to do both genetically & experientially as well, I talked to myself—“Don’t be a baby. Call the urologist; maybe you can leave a sample. Remember you have some Tramadol on hand. Perhaps that will help with the pain in the meantime.” All this proved to be true and the situation has been resolved medically. I have learned not “to awfulize” such situations, at least not as much as I have in the past.

    So, if by “answers” that can be found you meant more awareness and understanding of my subjective human life and experience, then I agree—such is findable.

    1. “I have discovered why an observant friend pointed out that I was “selfish” – Everybody is selfish…

      “when does it become MY business to disillusion others about anything?” – You already do. We all do on our own levels. Someone out there sees/knows less than you. You are their teacher.

      “I was done seeking a TOE or the answer to everything, so to speak” – TOE is not possible to produce. Firstly, one cannot reduce the complexity to one theory or to one particle. Secondly, it is still dependent on the context: TOE in mathematics, TOE in physics, TOE in philosophy. As my sone once said there are the ONLY fundamental science disciplines in existence, and he is correct.

      The name is a sneaky way to attract attention to.. self. Unfortunately, one can only have the master key to a cupboard, not the universe.

      There isn’t one answer to everything. There are answers to various phenomena.

      “I have gained more appreciation of the “here & now” like” – Absolutely. Death. Death. Death. Therefore.. breathe and take delight in this.

      “Pain, too, comes unbidden” – Yes. I am sorry. I wrote someone that pain is inevitable, and if peole can just accept this unpleasant fact of life, they will calm down a bit about other issues.

      “if by “answers” that can be found you meant more awareness and understanding of my subjective human life and experience” – Not just your subjective experience. We are all pretty good at being subjective. But have you ever tried to imagine what it’s like to be a.. lion? An ant? A bacteria? Or even your next of kin? To walk out of own shoes and wear someone’s else’s even if only mentally? To leave own bubble for a time period?

      I liked your word ‘awfulize’.. people tend to do that, don’t they.. I think this has evolutionary roots.

      1. So wild. Just got off the phone with my brother who mentioned the “walk a mile in their shoes thing.”

        I must say, I did not coin the word “awfulize.” Albert Ellis did.

        Thirdly, I like hearing your viewpoints. I get it now, why the forum site is perhaps a prison. You only get the party line, along with a lot of mimicry. I did always like the first forum better, as it was more of a free-for-all. On the other hand, Kenneth and the other posts on forum #2 staved off some significant loneliness, in a more significant way than I had found elsewhere during times of isolation or loneliness.

        1. @ queenofkudzu

          Yes, only the party line.

          Do you know what surprised me? When Kenneth wrote about feeling ill on the 25th there were a few responses. Then he wrote again on the 28th saying he was feeling shite basically (not in those words). Only two people actualy wrote anything back.

          That was when he was already quite poor. Not many people it seems really gave a shit.

    1. @ queenofkudzu

      “Well, of course, there was a third “walk a mile in their shoes,” which came in my inbox today. “Third time’s a charm,” so it’s said.”

      Pay no attention. It is only because it was mentioned that you began to notice it in other places. The mind picks up, begins to notice the information that it had previously decided was relevant somehow. A normal human brain functioning, good for survival in the jungle.

  12. Maybe so… Maybe not… I mean, yes, I’ve heard that explanation, and it sounds plausible, but I don’t believe it’s ever been proved.

    Well, I went to the IG forum and I’m starting to get what your concern is. Zara says the IG forum is “like a family,” but it is not. I tried posting on someone’s thread, someone whose posts I enjoy reading, said nothing too controversial, except I was a bit “irreverent” saying that the Lawgiver (Ken) was dead and “while the cat’s away the mice will play,” just playful stuff, yeah, but it was deleted, or never got posted. I saw it there, but now I don’t. No way to connect to anyone in the so-called “family.” And the damn Laws still exist!

    So strange (to me) how seemingly prepared Ken was for someone else to be so significantly in control after his death. I rather thought the “real” Ken, if he still “exists” somewhere, would have enjoyed my post. Sad, too, I saw a newcomer post which said they had read the books and had just found the site and “had a lot of catching up to do,” unless the newbie was an oldie in disguise?

    Zara’s got her work cut out for her.

    She’s working on what she said they were going to call “Letting Go of Everything.” Wonderful, right?! She said that it will be more “systematic” than the Navigator series. Just what we need, a NEW, improved systematic religion. Here’s the hook: It’s being designed “for more advanced students.” How ego-grabbing is THAT?! As for me, I’m out. The amusement is quite gone. So, I guess, “Thank you.”

    1. @ queenofkudzu

      Have you shared anything personal with Ken via emails? Well, it looks like ALL of this information is now in the hands of some unknown person called Zara. ALL OF IT, if she has access to all Ken’s email accounts.

      People wrote to him in full belief it will stay between him and them. So much for private exchanges.

      Welcome to the new cult.. or perhaps it will die out. She does not allow unmoderated posts either, but the jailbirds don’t mind. Some said they will pay and will continue. It beggars belief.

  13. P.S. I had emailed Ken, asking for “the death meditation” he had mentioned to someone. He did give out some freebies, like “the full-breathing tape,” he called it, as I recall, something like that. He gave me a lot of reasons for not being willing to share it. I think one was that he had not yet “finished” it. Something about letting me know when it would be available as part of something bigger, perhaps the “Letting Go of Everything” course that Zara mentioned. In any case, I did post under “There is no Jed McKenna” thread and it is still there. In that post I said, “…Wished you had sent me the death meditation, but in a way you did after all!”


    1. @ queenofkudzu

      The full breathing tape as the snare. Right. Don’t people know how to breathe? In and out. Seems pretty simple to me.

      Kenneth died unable to breathe. It sounds horrendous.

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