In my arrogance, I thought that I could conquer death with logic. But now I know that I only used logic to suppress my fear of death.Herbert Fingarette
I am half the age Herbert was when he said this, but I have the mind of a 97 year old. It is an archetype too.. the Old Man, the end of the cycle => decay and eventual demise. I honestly didn’t have to work at it: this was a given, something inherited through my DNA in the same way other people are given physical beauty: they didn’t earn it, and I didn’t earn a connection to Eternity.
But I did have to attempt to see the rest: the ways of the world, the ways of human beings, the ways of animals, the ways of physical laws, countless connections and causes and effects, beginnings and endings, and where it is all heading. That took effort: the intensity of emotional disembowelment made sure I would never again fail to see things as they are, instead of as what I wanted to see.
That – was not a given.
Death is a good teacher, but even Death is not enough to establish the clear ground rules in your mind, and why would anyone want to? While I wouldn’t change anything in the way it happened, I would say this with absolute conviction: “DO NOT LOOK FOR IT”.
If you hear the words of those who praise the Absolute – know that they are lying, often because they are of the illusion to have reached the very end. In seven or so years that passed, much has become clearer, all of it deepened and developed and never stood still, and yet… the understanding of this cold bare empty space hasn’t changed one iota; it looks just as inhospitable now as it appeared then.
Whoever tells you about the beauty and the happiness and love – is talking from the relative side, and those relative states exist, that is true. This is where one should stay. Jed is absolutely right in saying that the real life, the real attraction, the real engagement – lies in the world, not out of it. OK, he calls it ‘Dreamstate’, but I dislike the word intensely for its misleading nature, so I prefer to call it the conventional and less misleading term – the world. The world is full of colour. One cannot separate one’s Mind and its many interpretations of Reality – from Reality itself, with its many physical forms and its billions of little consciousnesses weaving the threads together.
Getting out of the world all together will mean a steady, but empty existence.
Can you please let the word reverberate inside of you? Is this what you really want?
I can confirm that simply being a human adult, with clear thinking and the minimum of emotional outbursts – is enough to go through life. Inner contentment is what you want, preferably with as little physical hardship as possible, with some human relationships that will cause you to balk at times, but will also provide comfort and a sense of belonging, not withstanding the fact that it is easier to survive as a group or a pair compared to a single individual. Even monks live in communities.
You DON’T NEED to understand death and the Absolute on an intimate level in order to be an adult. If you do reach this complete and irrevocable understanding – your life will be over. NOT ‘the end of your world as you know it’, haha, Adyashanti (Steven Gray) phrase.. that phrase makes it sound as if something else will replace your world, something beautiful, endlessly enchanting, something miraculous where nothing shakes you and all is peace and joy. Well, bullocks. The truth is – your life will end. Not ‘as you know it’, but you will have no life left, period. If Steven says differently.. well, he has a big business of enlightenment to run, and selling the Void is not a good business plan.
Accept that death will happen, or reject the idea – it makes no difference. You can even allow yourself a little fantasy about reincarnation or some other form of ‘you’ continuing to live indefinitely forever. You can believe in all this wholeheartedly, or simply sit on the fence of ‘I don’t know’. You can rationalise the existence of the soul and hope it carries on no matter what. It will not be true, but it will allow you to function in this world in a relatively happy state.
Truth will not give you a happy state. Truth will land you in no state at all. Again, I repeat: empty. Knowing Death in its full warrior attire means dropping any and all pretence: of own importance, of human relationships, of ‘together forever’, of ‘I will live on through my children’, of career aspirations, of intentional charitable deeds, of material acquisitions, of formal education, of wealth accumulation, of feeling emotional about it all…
.. of everything that makes up human life. Remove all of the above – and what are you left with? What can Truth offer you that is more enticing than the world laid out before you? You’d be left to float in the void of this achieved understanding for the rest of your physical life. You will lose it ALL, all, all, and will never gain the interest again.
You will leave the prison only to find yourself in a desert.tano
‘The price of truth is everything‘, said Jed McKenna. True, that is one angle of vision. Those calling for the ‘collective awakening of consciousness’ are living in a state of wishful thinking. It is not possible and it is not realistic. Even if the entire world population suddenly lost the illusion goggles (which is simply impossible), nothing would change. NOTHING WHATSOEVER would change in the world. Because it can’t. The world is governed by the unbreakable natural laws. Humans have the (limited) ability to influence personal and collective outcomes, but alas, humans are also governed by the same natural laws. There will always be a certain percentage of serial killers in the world, a certain percentage of paedophiles, a certain percentage of serious academics and NASA scientists, and a certain percentage of spiritual writers. I would even wager the percentages hardly change across centuries and geographic populations.
Life is always predicated on death. Wish as you may for something different, but misery and unhappiness are an inseparable part of existence. Continuing to deny this simple truth is what’s making humans more miserable than they should be.tano
Making the best of your prison is the only sensible solution; you just have to decide what ‘the best’ means for you specifically. If murder is your best – you will go and do that, and the best for the sheriff would be to catch you and hang your ass. If writing about ‘enlightenment’ is best for Jed McKenna – he’s do that governed by his DNA, and me governed by my DNA – will set about disassembling his carefully crafted anonymous image.
This continuous dance of ‘to and fro’ has been in existence for generations. All has been and occurred, but nothing has ever happened. Create your bubble, any colour you like; it may just be the only sane thing you can have in this existence. The fact that the bubble is not forever makes no difference providing it lasts a lifetime.
I know all this sounds like a ludicrous contra-advice, but it is the only practical advice I can give from the other side. Occasionally I wish to have forgotten the past seven years and gone back: to go mad at things, to cry hot tears, to laugh till my sides hurt, to believe in all sorts of daft things, to court other humans and get absorbed by their stories, to…. well, it’s not gonna happen. Once seen – cannot be unseen, always abidingly present.
As I said aeons back.. Truth is a beautiful bastard, it’s an ugly fucker.
So.. whatchya gonna do: look for absolute truth (cold, ugly and life destroying) or look for relative comfort (warm, promising and making you feel alive)?
If you are dragged into the former – you will walk alone until the day you die. And the one thing you need to do right now is to unsubscribe from this site, stop visiting, stop reading anything even vaguely spiritual here or elsewhere, throw out the idea of being ‘enlightened’ and concentrate on your immediate life in all its forms. This life and this world is all you will ever have.
The rest is the cold empty Void that each of us will join one day.
Lyrics at 1:20. They are very true.