Sitting in caves gains one a ‘special’ status – that of a ‘sage’. But sitting in a cave also indicates that the cave person is afraid to live. Life is hard, competitive, dirty. Caves are safe.tano
Rudy asked me a few questions here that I would like to address.
But before I do… I used to live near places like that photo below. I lived in a town, but it was surrounded by the rolling green hills, narrow country lanes, cute villages and tiny hamlets with an obligatory old church graveyard and just a few hundred people. It was picture perfect in every direction, a highly desirable location. I used to go for walks in the woods, or cycling around country lanes or eventually, when the gnarling sense of ‘something is not quite right in life’ started to get to me, I would jump in my car and drive around.
I also wanted to live in one of those hamlets. Now, when I think of it – their absolute idyllic stillness fills me with dread. They are lifeless corpses: pretty, civil, sterile, devoid of life. It is the perfect manifestation of the human attempt to control life, to make it knowable and subdued, a fantasy of being in charge.
Life is messy, unpredictable, often cruel and indiscriminate. Life does not decide who lives and who dies: it happens as a random lottery, and you might be the next victim of a storm lightening or financial crush or cancer or a reckless driver.
I upped sticks and stopped striving for the scrubbed up, germ free version of life. It simply never happens. So when people ask questions about this enlightenment palaver I always wonder what life version they are living. And by the way, when it is sometimes mentioned ‘In my past life’ – it does not mean reincarnation or other equally ridiculous terror management theories. It simply means ‘In the life I left behind’, and I had many many life overhauls.
1. Are you saying Nisgaradatta, Richard Rose, Adyashanti, Wayne Wirs (who I learned about reading your site, thank you) et al. did not have some kind of experience which left them with more than an intellectual understanding of, not sure what to call it but let me try, either “themselves as pure awareness” or if that is too ham-handed, “One Thing?”
All those chaps went through an experience of “OH….. I GET IT”. But they all interpreted it according to their personal levels of knowledge, depth and human integrity.
The words ‘I am pure awareness’ are… pure nonsense. It is the same as saying ‘My body is pure legs’. One’s body is so much more than legs, one’s mind is so much more than awareness, and you are the result of many variables all working together, co-creating inside of you, interacting with the outside world and making your specimen unique.
2. Are you saying there is nothing special about whatever experience they may or may not have had to make it worth pursuing?
All comes down to this fact: one internally grows and grows up.
The mind matures, it is a natural process and there is nothing special about it. While not all humans will arrive, all will grow in SOME way. It is not the pinnacle of the human experience, it is EVERYONE’S experience, even when they are not intelligent enough to notice or give it a name. Even when there is that one single defining moment when suddenly a person says ‘Fuck yeah.. I can see it now’ – it is still not the crowning glory. So you are a big boy/girl now… what’s the deal?
In other words, everyone evolves and matures. How far depends on many things.
3. Did you not reference on this blog some experience you had…a kind of death experience or experience of nothing, which profoundly affected how you see the world and disabused you of “the story” your mind had been telling? Again, might not have that right, but if you did have some experience like that, how do you refer to it?
Gaining death awareness did not disabuse me of the ‘story’ as I was too young to understand.
But it did alter my internal perception of life. Ramana chose to sit in a cave after that. I mean.. ~~fuck, I’m gonna die, what’s the point of anything? ~~ But it is not my choice.
4. If you did have an experience like that are you saying it shouldn’t or can’t be pursued and if it happens it is either grace or misfortune depending on your perspective?
You may ‘get it’ as a result of many factors, but forcing yourself and your mind to grow up fast is akin to rape.
U.G. spent MOST of his life trying to ‘get there’. Spoke with Ramana, spoke with another Krishnamurti and many other so called ‘gurus’…. AND? He lived his life in the pursuit of a mirage. He then got it, calmed the fuck down and got very elegant about telling everyone this is all bullshit.
Has anyone listened?
It is all bullshit. Go live your life as it suits you specifically. There is no manual as to how, one size does NOT fit all and you were not born supplied with instructions on how to operate ‘you’.
I say “Live. Find out – as a result of living.”
A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises