Below was written by me in the first days after the Big Bang. It is unedited and not yet very coherent, and I observe some lingering illusions in that too. But hey.. the first evidence of a real independent thought process. I was just beginning to grasp the emormity of existence.
The lie of love
Let’s examine the very basics. What motivates you in this life? It is rather simple.. you as an individual organism want to stay alive. And that is the root of all selfishness in the world.
If we can face this fact FIRST, unclouded by all the concepts of ‘goodness’ and ‘charity’, it makes the journey a bit easier. Remember Maslow pyramid? Food and shelter – first. Forget about the cast-off robes of man-made Ego identities, those are the easiest to burn. What no one tells you (or maybe, they do, I have little patience for formal spiritual teachings) – you will face the primary Ego of you, at the level of instinct, oh it’s a tricky thing… Forget about agape for a minute, detach from it. You want to LIVE, no matter how much life sucks, no matter how much suffering you witness.
The Primary Ego wants to live. That’s why true Love is so rare. Jesus didn’t die for love of Humanity as a whole or for love, for that matter.. He died – for being true to his inner Principle, that of not being a lie. The principle of ‘All begins with you, and any external authority is false’, which the external authority punished him for. The Principle beats Primary Ego with a stick, annihilates it. But once you went through the Big Bang, whether it was a quiet or an earth shattering event for you… you begin to see that Love is so NOT what the world calls ‘love’.
Universal love in the form proselytized out there doesn’t exist, impossible in that context. Yeah, sing Kumbaya together. Would you give your life for your singing companion? For your neighbour? Please get real here. What IS possible, however, is plain respect for the fact that your soul has as much validity and right to exist as mine. There is nothing separating us in that right, nothing which divides anything into ‘good’ and ‘bad’. The feeling of Unity which comes with Awakening – wipes out all egoic perceptions of own ‘importance’. The Absolute LAUGHS a this, it’s got a great sense of humour, people. Empathy and compassion come from this respect, and our mutual coexistence has to be negotiated every second along those lines. This is nature of impersonal love, although I wouldn’t define it as love in its true sense.
What IS personal love, then? It’s an ability to treat another organism as if it is – YOUR organism. As if it is – YOU. As if it’s survival takes priority. An absolute and CONSCIOUS negation of Primary Ego in favour of another organism, up to the point of physical death. It’s free, non-grasping and non-manipulative. Love energy is pure of intent, always flowing towards the person, there is nothing in it to want for self, nothing at all. True love is consciously transcendent, a Spirit, a bond outside of sexual desire (‘outside’ doesn’t mean ‘absence of’). The blend of energy between two people has to be very unique for this to happen. I don’t want to use words like ‘sacred’, ‘eternal’, ‘divine’ in this context, they’ve been marred by pseudo spiritual teachings.
It transcends the animal nature of us, the base desire for survival. Your instincts to grab and hold the person for own ‘use’ dissolve into Nothingness. You look another in the eye and all you want – is for them to thrive – with or without you. True Love is absolute and absolutely unconditional and FREE.
Can you really be that? DO that? Only you know the answer, and it can be as good a time as any – to start searching within. I just want to say here… I can’t even begin to express just how much it sets you free from the Game humans play out there with one another every day.